recent writing

The New Yorker / Shouts & Murmurs

A sous-chef handed me the Mueller report, whispering, "Trust me."

Medium

How can fifty dragons even fit in here? Great question, Greg. The dragons attack you first.

Medium / Featured Story

We knew the risks when enlisting Give Us This Beignet, Our Daily Bread as our wedding baker.

The New Yorker / Shouts & Murmurs

As we’ve shown, you need only patience and a strategy—or the Javelin of Divine Piercing, provided you defeat the demon horse—to secure your future.

Tumblr

A bonfire was built in one corner. I tossed in Company; I hated it now.

Live From Here

Every Low Self-Esteem Personal Trainer comes with emotional baggage that renders them friendly and accommodating! Maybe TOO accommodating. But they’re working on it.

Medium

"They wait outside Comb Guy’s shop until he locks up for the night, jump him in the alley — and strangle him."

Medium

I could feel the desperation, the urgency that would drive a woman to fill a damp Sudoku page from the back of The Scotsman with her truth.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency

Today you reminded me what a well-connected group of people minus Spencer can accomplish when trust wins out.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency

I know we talked about touring the Scottish highlands by zeppelin but I’d also be down for driving to Madison some weekend, if that’s cool.

Medium

...prepare to fall in love with what you find. You’ll love it because we at Slapdash cannot. Not anymore.

Medium

We handed out all those Wandering Sorceresses: Know Your Rights! pamphlets, but no one bothered to run one up to the castle and now here we are.

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