The New Yorker / Shouts & Murmurs

​

A sous-chef handed me the Mueller report, whispering, "Trust me."

Medium

​

How can fifty dragons even fit in here? Great question, Greg. The dragons attack you first.

Medium / Featured Story

​

We knew the risks when enlisting Give Us This Beignet, Our Daily Bread as our wedding baker.

The New Yorker / Shouts & Murmurs

​

As we’ve shown, you need only patience and a strategy—or the Javelin of Divine Piercing, provided you defeat the demon horse—to secure your future.

Tumblr

​

A bonfire was built in one corner. I tossed in Company; I hated it now.

Live From Here

​

Every Low Self-Esteem Personal Trainer comes with emotional baggage that renders them friendly and accommodating! Maybe TOO accommodating. But they’re working on it.

Medium

​

"They wait outside Comb Guy’s shop until he locks up for the night, jump him in the alley — and strangle him."

Medium

​

I could feel the desperation, the urgency that would drive a woman to fill a damp Sudoku page from the back of The Scotsman with her truth.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency

​

Today you reminded me what a well-connected group of people minus Spencer can accomplish when trust wins out.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency

​

I know we talked about touring the Scottish highlands by zeppelin but I’d also be down for driving to Madison some weekend, if that’s cool.

Medium

​

...prepare to fall in love with what you find. You’ll love it because we at Slapdash cannot. Not anymore.

Medium

​

We handed out all those Wandering Sorceresses: Know Your Rights! pamphlets, but no one bothered to run one up to the castle and now here we are.